All the right wing media would think this is the only news story of the year.
"Bill and Hillary Clinton invite porn actress to have dinner with them at the WhiteHouse"
Pat Robertson and Fatso Falwell would be hospitalized for exhaustion after trying to be on all the news networks at one time
Fred Phelps and his merry band of loonies, all 8 of them, would protest some funeral, at least until some Podunk Herald took his picture. Then he would go protest somewhere else.
Rush would have to find three more doctors, because his Oxycontin cabinet had been emptied.
Ann Coulter would write another book, claiming this is exactly why everybody who doesn't completely agree with her, should be in concentration camps.
Newt and Rudy would be so angry they would have to go out and find new mistresses.
The pedophile wing of the GOP would be so angry they would burn their kiddie porn.
Kenny Starr would be given another 80 million and told to start another investigation.
Randall Terry, who traded in his old wife on a newer model, would tell his goons to change from bombing abortion clinics to bombing video stores. He would claim that the kids working in them for minimum wage were actually the spawn of satan.
The Democrats in all of their nothingness would just say that it probably is not as bad as it seems. Then they would go into hiding, not wanting to offend anybody.
The GOP would blame it on PBS
The swiftboaters for anything but the truth, would claim she never filled out her XX304 form.
Jeb Bush would claim that is the only reason Terri Schaivo is not able to run in a marathon.
The Family Research Council would give another $80,000 to the klan.